The rainy Saturday. Things have changed, finally.

It’s been raining these days, I like the weather, perfect for staying in and just lay back and chill with a cup of hot drink.

Parents came back this afternoon, cooked them lunch. Things have changed, in a good way. Dad got anxiety and minor depression since my grandma got sick but she is all good now. You may feel it’s weird that I said this is a good thing if you don’t know my life well. Thanks to the torturous days my grandma made my dad suffer through when she was sick, which changed my dad. He finally realised he did stupid stuffs before, which ruined my mom’s, my brother’s and my life. I don’t know if this change is partially due to my dad’s andropause, I hope he won’t change back to who he were after he sees my doctor and gets better.

The feeling I have now is complicated. It is not merely due to my dad, it’s about everything that is with me now. I am in clinical years and started to doubt if I can be a good doctor, I hope I can. I will just try the best I can and see how it goes.

About relationships, ya still single haha, I don’t know since when I stopped giving a damn about the guys around me. I still find it hard to believe in love because all the stuffs I have been through. Sometimes I feel a bit scared, you know, as W. Somerset Maugham said, the great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love. So, I would like to believe it is just that I haven’t met the one for me.

Going to Maldives again at the end of April, booked a package but not confirmed by the agent yet, hopefully things go well. Need some quality time with nature and myself before I start my research project.

It’s late now and still raining, perfect for a good night sleep 🙂

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half way there

Got one of the lower wisdom teeth extracted yesterday, the surgery went well and I feel ok now except that I cannot eat much solid food. Will get the other one extracted next week 🙂 hope things will go well as well.

Didn’t study much yesterday because I spent the whole afternoon at my dentist’s clinic. I got really depressed after I tried a few questions from the self- assessment test of the head and neck block. Everything looks so familiar but it is just so hard to recall the details of the anatomy. I am feeling blue now. Just started revising haematology, what can I do, just try study as hard as other people. I am too slacked, my lifestyle doesn’t suit medical life. But I chose this, so I have to do this, and I think I believe I can.

Wish me luck.