The rainy Saturday. Things have changed, finally.

It’s been raining these days, I like the weather, perfect for staying in and just lay back and chill with a cup of hot drink.

Parents came back this afternoon, cooked them lunch. Things have changed, in a good way. Dad got anxiety and minor depression since my grandma got sick but she is all good now. You may feel it’s weird that I said this is a good thing if you don’t know my life well. Thanks to the torturous days my grandma made my dad suffer through when she was sick, which changed my dad. He finally realised he did stupid stuffs before, which ruined my mom’s, my brother’s and my life. I don’t know if this change is partially due to my dad’s andropause, I hope he won’t change back to who he were after he sees my doctor and gets better.

The feeling I have now is complicated. It is not merely due to my dad, it’s about everything that is with me now. I am in clinical years and started to doubt if I can be a good doctor, I hope I can. I will just try the best I can and see how it goes.

About relationships, ya still single haha, I don’t know since when I stopped giving a damn about the guys around me. I still find it hard to believe in love because all the stuffs I have been through. Sometimes I feel a bit scared, you know, as W. Somerset Maugham said, the great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love. So, I would like to believe it is just that I haven’t met the one for me.

Going to Maldives again at the end of April, booked a package but not confirmed by the agent yet, hopefully things go well. Need some quality time with nature and myself before I start my research project.

It’s late now and still raining, perfect for a good night sleep 🙂

Hi Summer!

Woohoo! Finished my exams and just back from a trip to Maldives with my mom, have to say that Maldives is indeed a paradise! Don’t stay there for too long though because you may get bored. What I did everyday was basically wake up, then eat, then snorkelling, eat, snorkelling, eat, snorkelling, sleep, until I come back. Oh, I almost passed out from drinking liquor……I proved myself once again that I should not have alcohol in my life under any circumstances (even if they are free) unless I want to commit suicide and die in a most torturous way.

I found my previous posts were too passive, full of negative emotions, I think I should have a change. I mean, well, I know I have gone through terrible things but who didn’t? What was bothering me wasn’t my fault (or maybe it is partially due to me, like butterfly effect, who knows, but I am for sure not the person who is directly responsible for all those shit). So, I will let it go. I will live my life and step out from the shadow of those issues.

A week to go until the results will be released, I AM SOOOOOO NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG just please please please let me pass my exams!!!!!!!!!!!! Promise will be a good girl next year and study hard.

Enjoy your holidays everyone! Will come back here and write more soon 😉